🎢 Standing in the Chaos: When Life Feels Too Real to Be Real

Some weeks feel like you’re riding a rollercoaster that definitely wasn’t safety-checked.
And this past week?
Yeah, this one has had it all.

✅ Car trouble (twice over).
✅ Doctors brushing off your instincts.
✅ 80-degree weather and no A/C.
✅ A big, beautiful dream whispering in one ear… and a thousand fears shouting in the other.

This is the kind of real life that doesn’t make it to Instagram.
The messy, expensive, overwhelming kind.
The “how am I supposed to make big decisions when I can’t even keep up with today?” kind.
The “I feel called to something, but is now really the time?” kind.

🚗 Let’s Start With the SUV…

I knew it would need a repair. We planned for it.
Got it done. Felt that relief…

Until the “rumble” started.
And now we’re talking high-pressure fuel pump.
Which basically translates to: “Your car is holding your peace of mind hostage, and the ransom is not small.”

Oh, and we’re down to one car—also in need of repairs—and of course, the one without air conditioning just in time for summer.
Because why not? Life’s funny like that.

😤 Then There’s the Doctor Visit

Another doctor. Another dismissal.
“Probably anxiety.”

I’ve lived with anxiety. I know anxiety.
And I know when something in my body feels different.

Why is it so hard to be taken seriously when you have a mental health diagnosis?
Why does your chart start writing your story for you, before you can even speak?

It’s frustrating.
And scary.
And it makes trusting your gut even more important—and even harder to do.

🎓 And Then There’s This Dream…

Here’s the part that’s hard to say out loud:

I’m considering going back to college.
At almost 50.
In the middle of a storm.
With kids, and car trouble, and questions.
With a husband who’s struggling with tendonitis, and a house that never quiets down.

But the calling won’t stop.
It’s loud. It’s persistent. It’s personal.

To help people understand addiction.
To create peace through compassion.
To help save one life.
Even one soul.
To turn our loss into something that matters.

And I keep thinking—what if that’s the reason I’m still here?

But then I spiral.
What if my body fails? What if I can’t keep up?
What if the money, the energy, the time… what if it’s all for nothing?

🧘 Here’s What I Know Today

I’m overwhelmed.
I’m exhausted.
I’m scared.
And… I’m still standing. (maybe a little shakey but standing just the same)

That counts for something.

I may not have all the answers today.
I may not have the funds or the fix or the perfect plan.
But I have a heart that’s wide open.
A soul that’s still listening.
And a belief that sometimes, the most important steps we take are the ones we’re terrified of.

💬 If You’re Also Standing at the Edge of Something…

You’re not alone.

Whether it’s a diagnosis, a decision, or just a never-ending to-do list that’s swallowing your hope, I see you.

Maybe your life feels too real to be real right now too.
Maybe you’re wondering how to dream when you’re drowning.
Maybe you’re just tired of holding it all together. (SO very tired)

So let’s not tie this up with a bow.
Let’s just say this:
You’re doing the hard thing.
And you’re still here.

That is not nothing.
That is everything.

✨ Before You Go…

If you’re standing in your own version of chaos right now—
in the mess, the uncertainty, the decision that feels too big—

What is one thing you’re still doing, even when it’s hard?
Are you still showing up for your kids?
Still dreaming, even in doubt?
Still making it to the end of the day?

That counts. You count.
You don’t have to have it all figured out.
You don’t have to be sure.
You’re allowed to be scared and hopeful at the same time.

Here’s your reminder today:

“Even standing on shaky ground, you are strong. Even unsure, you are brave. Even overwhelmed, you are enough.”

Keep going, my friend. You’re doing better than you think.

Light and Love ~Mandy

Stormeyes Enchanted