💕How to Help Kids Feel ‘Enough’ in a World That Says They’re Not

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3–5 minutes

Because what if the best thing we can teach them
 is that they don’t have to be perfect to be worthy?


Lately, I’ve been reading Daring Greatly by BrenĂ© Brown, and it cracked something wide open in me.

She talks about the “culture of scarcity.” How we wake up thinking, “I didn’t get enough sleep,” go to bed thinking, “I didn’t get enough done,” and spend the hours in between believing we’re not good enough, not smart enough, not thin enough, not extraordinary enough.

Sound familiar?

It sure does to me. In fact, she could be speaking about me.

And while I read those pages, all I could think about was our kids—especially our teens—and how they’re growing up with this pressure turned all the way up. The filters. The likes. The GPAs. The scholarships. The achievements. The “what’s next?” questions they get asked way too early.

It’s a lot. And for some, it’s too much.

What if one of the reasons so many of our young people are turning to substances, including dangerous ones like fentanyl, is because it’s the only way they know how to quiet the voice that says: You’ll never be enough?

And what if we could change that?


The Real Danger of “Never Enough”

Here’s what I believe with all my heart:

Scarcity thinking is exhausting.
And for our kids—who are still learning who they are—it’s dangerous. So dangerous.

We see it when they obsess over test scores, when they compare their looks and lives to what they see online, or when they feel like a failure for not knowing what they want to be at 18 when half of us change our minds in our 30s! The world keeps whispering they’re not doing enough
 or worse, that they are not enough.

And when those feelings pile up? Sometimes, drugs feel like an escape. A pause button. A way to stop caring.

Fentanyl, especially, is sneaky. It’s laced into pills and black-market vape pens and marketed like candy. One moment of curiosity, one try to feel “OK,” and it can become a tragedy.

That is why this matters. Because when kids feel rooted in who they are, when they feel safe, connected, and accepted without needing to prove anything—they’re less likely to seek that escape.


So What Can We Do?

We can’t shield them from everything. But we can give them tools that remind them:

💛 You are already enough.

Here are 7 practical ways to start:


1. Celebrate the Ordinary

Help your child know they don’t have to be extraordinary to matter. Celebrate effort. Celebrate kindness. Celebrate them just being them.

Ask at dinner:
“What was one small win today?”


2. Model Self-Compassion

Let them see you mess up. Let them hear you say things like:
“That was hard, but I’m still proud of myself.”

Our kids learn how to treat themselves by watching how we treat ourselves. And self-compassion is not my strong point. I am working to change that.


3. Talk About Social Media Truthfully

Have honest conversations about filters, comparison traps, and curated content. Not from a place of shame, but from awareness.

Say:
“Even I get caught comparing myself online sometimes. You’re not alone.”


4. Encourage Vulnerability

Create a “judgment-free” zone where they can talk about fears, failures, or hard days without fixing it or reacting.

Try:
“You don’t have to have it all figured out. I’m just glad you shared it with me.”


5. Reconnect with Nature & Movement

Get outside. Ride bikes. Walk the trails. Plant a garden. Breathe in fresh air. Nature has a way of reminding us we’re whole, even in the messy moments.


6. Make Kindness a Family Value

Talk about compassion, not just achievement. Leave kind notes. Pay for a stranger’s coffee. Model empathy. And point out when you, as a parent, slip up.

Build the habit of asking:
“How can we make someone’s day better today?”


7. Affirm, Affirm, Affirm

Make “I love you as you are” a daily anthem.
Use mirror notes, texts, or random hugs. Help them internalize that love isn’t earned—it’s given, and they deserve it.


A Final Word for the Grown-Ups

If you’re reading this and wondering if it’s too late—please know this:

It’s never too late to start whispering you are enough.

Start with yourself. You don’t have to be a perfect parent. You don’t have to have all the answers.

You just have to be present, honest, and willing to love them through the tough parts.

Even in grief. Even in fear. Even in the unknown.


Let’s Keep the Conversation Going

đŸŒ± What’s one “ordinary” thing you’ll celebrate today?
đŸŒ» What helps you (or your child) remember you are enough?

Tell me in the comments or share this with someone who needs the reminder.


💌 PS: Want to Go Deeper?

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💜Light and Love ~Mandy

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